AHHHH!! why don't i write more?? oh thats right, because i literally work my life away, ahaa. 50 hours weeks are KILLER when youre not used to working, i tell you what.
but. lets be honest. i LOVE everything about this summer. well. not everything. the job can actually kinda suck at times. and sometimes i wanna go out, or am in the mood to go downtown or something, or wanna see my jokish friends from home, or my pesty pets, that kind of thing.
BUT! now that i'm inside three weeks of coming home-- im terrified! to leave! all the awesome people i have met here. why do i have to keep switching lives?!?! im so used to it here. and i like it. and now i have to leave... blast! curse it all!
well... the past few days i have actually been down in the canyon. it was- AMAZING! lauren and i hiked down the south kaibab trail on saturday. we got a late start because SOMEONE slept it (yes, that someone was me, and lauren had to knock on the door and wake me up, i was so disorientated and she was not at ALL suprised. oh, heavens. not my fault- i was up til 5 30 the night before and we had to leave by 9!) so yea. hiking down was awesome, you get amazing views of the canyon. my personal favorite was muffin man point (we named it ourselves...). we sat there for a while and admired. it was really incredible. the bottom was also incredible-- but SO HOT, wow. and-- lauren and i are GENIUSES, and did not bring flashlights into a pitch black canyon... cool. luckily we bought some at the phantom ranch shop thing. thank GOD. our campsite was right on bright angel creek- it was amazing. i was seriously amazed. in love. everything. one of the happiest ive ever been. beautiful, and so secluded and peaceful. and lauren and i sitting on the picnic table being ridiculous (sleeping bag in the dirt- sleeping in our unmentionables, picturing lauren hiking out in just her undies if her shorts blew away... HAa!). i slept in my trusty hammock... after the ordeal of trying to drag the 745 pound table across the campsite. disasters. love it.
next day- again got a late start. and hit the HEAT OF THE DAY- good. were making a book of how NOT to hike to the bottom of the grand canyon. it should be pretty good, and will probably save a lot of people. anyway-- HOT down there, made pretty slow progress along the river. which was fun, because i was just taking in the sites, and it was breathtaking. the river is amazing, and the north rim looks so close, and it is just wonderful. WONDERFUL. i couldnt look around enough (thus the title of this blog- from a death cab classic.) in LOVE! stopped at pine creek beach for a couple hours, laid in the water, on the rocks, cooled off and waited for clouds to come in before attempting devils corkscrew up to indian gardens. met some cool people down there, and dad and daughter from england and these three random young guys taking a road trip. one of them was telling us about his shrooming experience the night before and how he discovered his spirit animal ( a wolf). interesting.
finally left... hiked up to indian garden. HOT, and a little rough... but still fun. GORGEOUS. was getting back around to being able to see the south rim, in particular our area of the rim.. as far away as it was, it was comforting to be in sight of "home." i could actually distinguish which part of the rim was ours... it was cool! rested in this amazing creek, then hit indian gardens. SO BEAUTIFUL. big, gorgeous green trees and a lovely breeze, and the canyon looming up behind it, and the creek running through the middle. stopped and had a snack by this amazing old tree. i did a lot of sitting and looking on the hike. it was phenomenal.
met anthony at IG. messed with the squirrels (they are at their peak ridiculousness down there... yes, we threw rocks at some. they thought it was food. even after it hit them in the face. dumb.) then found our campsite and hung out. a lovely evening. the guys from the beack stopped by on their way up and chatted. shoulder pads and communism?? there was some conversation about that, i believe.....
then played a little cards and relaxed. mused over the mysterious wet spot in the dirt that wasn't drying up, even after several hours. (it was still there in the morning... huh.) then hit the sack! (the hammock). so incredible sleeping in that thing, under the trees and being able to see the stars and everything, down in the grand canyon. ahh. love.
hiked out the next day. not so bad, made pretty good time. except for the hail storm that started when lauren was still hiking out.... good. then milkshakes, relaxing, and wonderfulness!!
-an update-- i started this post a week ago. so i've had a whole week of events since the big hike. mainly work... and hanging out. went to williams on the train with meredith and lauren- so fun! ate at poncho "villas" (magillicuddies).. CHEESE FEST 09, good lord we ate so much cheese. then got huge pieces of pie.... then walked down the sketchiest street in all america to get to a gas station to buy beer. then back to the hotel room.. cards! and 90s music on youtube. a good night. rode home today on the train- luxury class! fo free! got to stand on the back and watch the scenery.. so gorgeous. then played some spades w/ "paco"... huh. pretty fun. tried to ride the plane in tusayan, DISASTER, ugh.... hung around at the pool. hung out at maswik (our last time :( can't believe it.. no more maswik sandwiches and pie.) rough day.
so yea- life here is good. cant believe im going back to my real life so soon. i will actually miss the bright angel restaurant---- trejo making me kiss him on the cheek, telling me he loves me (mi amor, i love you! thank you, mi amor!), john d being ridiculous in the kitchen, hearing him yell from across the restaurant. daniel sneaking chocolate milk and twix bars, maya and her ridiculous macedonian accent (In my country!!!!), ridiculously tall brad, klein and his obnoxious comments, calling me "kath," all that type of stuff. i've grown really attached i supposed. hanging out at daniels after work, having porch time w/ dawn and lauren, dawn being ridiculous ("son of a bitch!", and her sex therapy sessions). soo many things, i cant even begin to write about them all. im really worried about what home is gonna be like. what am i gonna feel like?? i am gonna miss people here so so so so much. my second life is ending! and i will never have it again!!
well i am currently on the porch (oh! the porch night where we were talking too loud and the guy in the lodge across the street yells "shut the hell up!!!!", then fire and security comes. good.). so i am pretty distracted. but i will write more soon. i just dont know where to start. what an ammmmaazzzzziiiiiiinnnngggg summer! oh, man.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Friday, July 10, 2009
Root Beer, Chocolate Milk, Very Little Sleep--- Living the DREAM!
oh, blog thing. i wish i updated more often. but when you work 30 hours a day, its pretty hard to find time! my life is seriously work, sleep, work, with a few extra things thrown in there when i find the time. and yet--- i am having an awesome summer and am so happy out here. i always get really attached to little things about certain places. such as here--- i LOVE sitting on the front porch of colter talking to people, usually dawn and lauren. any time of day or night, its always awesome. i love meeting dawn and lauren in kachina late after work and catching up on everyones days. i love goin down the hall and visiting the gift shop while im supposed to be working. i love maswik sandwiches, and drinking chocolate milk and root beer, root beer, and a lot more root beer and work. and hot chocolate, rolls, soup, crackers, whatever else i can sneak. and i love seeing people in the ecaf on my break, whoever is in there, i even sometimes love the chaos of the bright angel. and i like walking along the rim to work, or laying out on the balcony of colter before work and watching people walk by, seeing people i know heading to or from work and saying hello. i even like hauling ass to the uniform center to switch out my uniform before work starts and the fact that i am always, ALWAYS late for work. no matter what. i NEVER clock in on time. why not?!?!?! don't know.
dawn had a ridiculous situation involving an older (CREEPY) man, and it was fun discussing that with that ladies, and of course spiraling off into random tangents, and somehow the conversation ended in phone sex and different ways of absolutely ruining the phone sex experience. then was a glorious farting conversation, and lauren having the BEST fart ever... you have to know her. it was so unexpected, and she was looking off into the distance like she was gonna say something. hilarious... then i thought this gigantic rock on the porch was one of her shoes. gosh, the stuff that happens to us... getting yelled at by the bitchy lady on the bus on the way to rafting. THAT was one of the funniest days of the summer, if not of my life. corn husk dolls, brick the driver ("it's because you're a woman!" -- really?!!?), moley on the river, more hypotheticals than i can remember. rafting was awesome, and sedone with q and lauren was awesome, SO FUN! went to grasshopper pt. and found our own little spot on the stream, swam and layed out. then walked around downtown sedona, ate at this delicious mexican place looking out over the gorgeous scenery, BEST chips and salsa, BEST rainbow, best day!!
been working all week.... bleehh. night hike last night with daniel, lauren, and lily! looked really cool out, but the BA is def. not the best trail to moon hike on. oh well, it was fun. once again-- endless what ifs! (i blame rebecca jane holton COMPLETELY for this). i had a lot of fun, though i was stupid enough to wear my chacos down there. then sat on the porch with daniel til like 4 or so in the morning :) ! hit the pool in tusayan again, LOVEEEE IT! going tomorrow because i dont have to work til six. so wonderful. then going alllllll day saturday. oh god, cant wait. just laying out with some beer, then ice cream in tusayan, then NOT WORKING! what is better than that?? nothing.
so yea. a whole lotta regular stuff. but for some reason--- its just amazing. i really really love it here. three day camping trip to the river comin up with lil, lauren, eli, and anthony.. 4 of my favorite people here! i am SO EXCITED, finally gettin to the bottom of the canyon! YAY!! and gonna use my hammock. HELL YES. thanks to quetzal and terry (our bosses) OBSESSION with him that i got the third day off. i asked-- straight no. he asked (and she thinks were dating) and i get the day off. corrupt, but whatever. she's getting had. and im going to the bottom. eat it, terry! and then later in the month (a few days before we leave :( so weird) goin on the train to williams with the girls, just gonna get drunk and be ridiculous and be together! ahhhhh, i love my friends here so much. ive just met so many people, and people from ALL over the place literally, and i like the people i work with a lot. dude---- this summer has been so kick ass. im just so so happy, despite working so much and crappy living conditions and missing athens and my friends a lot... just happy here! and glad that ive seen that i am able to go out on my own and adapt and love it. i honestly see myself in the future (maybe even the near future-- scary!) going out on my own, AWAY from georgia. i feel it coming, i just know it is... ahhhahahHA! people do it all the time.. its fine!
but for now-- im here. talked to my sis on the phone today and she reminded me of that. i said something about being glad to come home but knowing i would miss it so much here, and how fast the summer is going by and how long its been since i was in athens and all that- and she was just like "yea itll be fun to come back. but for now-- just be there!" EXACTLY! just need to be where i am. and appreciate it. 20 has the been the best best age. i feel so full (so WHOLE :) !), and expectant.. but satisfyingly so. i feel like ive grown a lot emotionally, and relationally with people, and spiritually- just trusting in an eternal power and a God that IS findable and relatable, one that CAN make sense and that doesn't cause frustration, but only wonder and joy. and this God becomes more and more real all the time, and the voice that isnt my own becomes louder all the time, and it is so amazing.
alright, enough ridiculousness.i gotta go because i think daniel is gonna bring me some grapes-- talk about the nicest guy ever!
night!
dawn had a ridiculous situation involving an older (CREEPY) man, and it was fun discussing that with that ladies, and of course spiraling off into random tangents, and somehow the conversation ended in phone sex and different ways of absolutely ruining the phone sex experience. then was a glorious farting conversation, and lauren having the BEST fart ever... you have to know her. it was so unexpected, and she was looking off into the distance like she was gonna say something. hilarious... then i thought this gigantic rock on the porch was one of her shoes. gosh, the stuff that happens to us... getting yelled at by the bitchy lady on the bus on the way to rafting. THAT was one of the funniest days of the summer, if not of my life. corn husk dolls, brick the driver ("it's because you're a woman!" -- really?!!?), moley on the river, more hypotheticals than i can remember. rafting was awesome, and sedone with q and lauren was awesome, SO FUN! went to grasshopper pt. and found our own little spot on the stream, swam and layed out. then walked around downtown sedona, ate at this delicious mexican place looking out over the gorgeous scenery, BEST chips and salsa, BEST rainbow, best day!!
been working all week.... bleehh. night hike last night with daniel, lauren, and lily! looked really cool out, but the BA is def. not the best trail to moon hike on. oh well, it was fun. once again-- endless what ifs! (i blame rebecca jane holton COMPLETELY for this). i had a lot of fun, though i was stupid enough to wear my chacos down there. then sat on the porch with daniel til like 4 or so in the morning :) ! hit the pool in tusayan again, LOVEEEE IT! going tomorrow because i dont have to work til six. so wonderful. then going alllllll day saturday. oh god, cant wait. just laying out with some beer, then ice cream in tusayan, then NOT WORKING! what is better than that?? nothing.
so yea. a whole lotta regular stuff. but for some reason--- its just amazing. i really really love it here. three day camping trip to the river comin up with lil, lauren, eli, and anthony.. 4 of my favorite people here! i am SO EXCITED, finally gettin to the bottom of the canyon! YAY!! and gonna use my hammock. HELL YES. thanks to quetzal and terry (our bosses) OBSESSION with him that i got the third day off. i asked-- straight no. he asked (and she thinks were dating) and i get the day off. corrupt, but whatever. she's getting had. and im going to the bottom. eat it, terry! and then later in the month (a few days before we leave :( so weird) goin on the train to williams with the girls, just gonna get drunk and be ridiculous and be together! ahhhhh, i love my friends here so much. ive just met so many people, and people from ALL over the place literally, and i like the people i work with a lot. dude---- this summer has been so kick ass. im just so so happy, despite working so much and crappy living conditions and missing athens and my friends a lot... just happy here! and glad that ive seen that i am able to go out on my own and adapt and love it. i honestly see myself in the future (maybe even the near future-- scary!) going out on my own, AWAY from georgia. i feel it coming, i just know it is... ahhhahahHA! people do it all the time.. its fine!
but for now-- im here. talked to my sis on the phone today and she reminded me of that. i said something about being glad to come home but knowing i would miss it so much here, and how fast the summer is going by and how long its been since i was in athens and all that- and she was just like "yea itll be fun to come back. but for now-- just be there!" EXACTLY! just need to be where i am. and appreciate it. 20 has the been the best best age. i feel so full (so WHOLE :) !), and expectant.. but satisfyingly so. i feel like ive grown a lot emotionally, and relationally with people, and spiritually- just trusting in an eternal power and a God that IS findable and relatable, one that CAN make sense and that doesn't cause frustration, but only wonder and joy. and this God becomes more and more real all the time, and the voice that isnt my own becomes louder all the time, and it is so amazing.
alright, enough ridiculousness.i gotta go because i think daniel is gonna bring me some grapes-- talk about the nicest guy ever!
night!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
"Oh! Compressed T-Shirts! Wash Twice."
Ah. Hello journal thing. i suppose its sorta been awhile. been working quite a bit, it kind of overtakes my life a bit. ive had the past couple days off, which was nice. worked a lot last week... but it was actually kinda fun. the BA is actually growing on me quite a bit. i will probably stay there til the end of the summer rather than going back to the AZ. its not too much longer, and i make more money in the BA.
so yea. just been hangin out. havent hiked too much recently... oops. im in the process of planning my rim to rim, because i AM doing it. i also think a bunch of us girls are gonna go to the river and back and camp at indian gardens and stuff. that would be lots of fun.
ah yes. can't remember the last time i wrote, so i cant really remember whats happened since then. sketchy party where everyone was speaking spanish, left and ended up at my friend happy's place, where everyone was speaking thai.... good. hung out with him for a bit, had some wine (broke his wine glass). been eating quite a few full bags of popcorn at one in the morning... theres nothing else to eat!!
went to the pool in tusayan yesterday to lay out with lauren and lilly. it was lovely til these obnoxious kids kept running from as far back as possible and leaping into the pool right next to us. umm.... other end of the pool, kids. also was in tusayan a few days ago playing pool. but thats right, im not 21, and thus had to leave at like 9:30. so annoying! then last night me, lauren, and matt were gonna go try to play pool at maswik BUT! they were checking id's that night. they never check ids! so, there goes that. can i please just play pool?? thats all i want! gosh.
went over to ray's (bartender at the AZ) a few days ago with lauren to have shrimp gumbo. we were in the wrong building for a while, knocking on random doors trying to find him. it was pretty awesome.
like i said, i work most nights, so i haven't really been up to much. the BA is crazy, so much more chaotic than the AZ room... i miss the people in the az, and whenever i go up there they all tell me they want me back! but the BA has its perks too.. more young people. more money. so i guess im really fine with either. i do miss being able to look out over the canyon while im at work though...
oh! lauren and i hiked a bit of hermit's rest a few days ago. we were looking at all the rocks on the sides of the trail because they have all these fossils in them. like sea shells and sponges, according to some random piece of paper we found floating along the side of the trail (yes that really happened. it was crazy.) it was pretty cool. then we went off the trail for a bit out to this outcrop plateau. it was pretty fun. at one point i decided to take a little exploration up this big slope on the side of the trail. ended up sliding like six feet on my ass on my way back down in this huge cloud of dust, dragging this poor root along with me. lauren said it was really funny to watch- i quite believe her.
watched part of this awesome movie at matt's last night- can't remember what its called, but its basically just images of a bunch of random stuff, like waves or storms or demolitions, and then this awesome music in the backgroud. me and lauren were pretty much entranced.. oh, also watched this video at this other dudes apartment, for some reason i am obsessed with it..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxZJTRhcFg4 . i just love it.
so yea. eaten breakfast at el tovar a few more times. SO GOOD, oh my gosh. cinnamon rolls from heaven. been craving mexican food for quite a while now-- gotta get to flag soon.
so yea. half way done here, or more! which is crazy. i still want to get to sedona, and hike rim to rim. and camp if possible.
i am pretty used to living here now. i feel like i know a lot of people and have stuff to do and work a lot and all that. its weird to me that i'll be going home. i mean, i still have like a month. but months pass so fast these days it seems like! i am super excited about the house and all, and seeing everyone again, and athens and downtown-- but i am loving this for now. i almost would rather stay here for longer. i am already looking into stuff to do next summer. i would really love to go abroad somewhere. i think there is much traveling in my future. i am seeing that i am not going to be a stationary person for a while, not til im older. i mean, im pretty sure grad school and whatnot is gonna have wait, because after college and i am GOING somewhere, im doing something out of my comfort zone. maybe an environmental peace corps type thing, some type of volunteer environmental thing abroad. ive already looked into working as a volunteer at different animal reserves and stuff in south africa and whatnot. there is so much cool stuff out there to do... and you really CAN do it. theres nothing stopping you, really, except thinking that you shouldn't. i think ive learned that being out here, looking at these peoples lives who are here and all the places theyve been and worked. its just so different from the pattern i see in people at home and what they do with their lives. and honestly, this appeals to me more. they have less money and less stability and i think its awesome. once again, i have this huge temptation to drop out of school. BUT, i wont, ill get my degree. blast. itll be great. i can handle two more years in athens. especially since i know that afterwards there is awesome stuff waiting for me. i cant wait for it!
so yea. just been hangin out. havent hiked too much recently... oops. im in the process of planning my rim to rim, because i AM doing it. i also think a bunch of us girls are gonna go to the river and back and camp at indian gardens and stuff. that would be lots of fun.
ah yes. can't remember the last time i wrote, so i cant really remember whats happened since then. sketchy party where everyone was speaking spanish, left and ended up at my friend happy's place, where everyone was speaking thai.... good. hung out with him for a bit, had some wine (broke his wine glass). been eating quite a few full bags of popcorn at one in the morning... theres nothing else to eat!!
went to the pool in tusayan yesterday to lay out with lauren and lilly. it was lovely til these obnoxious kids kept running from as far back as possible and leaping into the pool right next to us. umm.... other end of the pool, kids. also was in tusayan a few days ago playing pool. but thats right, im not 21, and thus had to leave at like 9:30. so annoying! then last night me, lauren, and matt were gonna go try to play pool at maswik BUT! they were checking id's that night. they never check ids! so, there goes that. can i please just play pool?? thats all i want! gosh.
went over to ray's (bartender at the AZ) a few days ago with lauren to have shrimp gumbo. we were in the wrong building for a while, knocking on random doors trying to find him. it was pretty awesome.
like i said, i work most nights, so i haven't really been up to much. the BA is crazy, so much more chaotic than the AZ room... i miss the people in the az, and whenever i go up there they all tell me they want me back! but the BA has its perks too.. more young people. more money. so i guess im really fine with either. i do miss being able to look out over the canyon while im at work though...
oh! lauren and i hiked a bit of hermit's rest a few days ago. we were looking at all the rocks on the sides of the trail because they have all these fossils in them. like sea shells and sponges, according to some random piece of paper we found floating along the side of the trail (yes that really happened. it was crazy.) it was pretty cool. then we went off the trail for a bit out to this outcrop plateau. it was pretty fun. at one point i decided to take a little exploration up this big slope on the side of the trail. ended up sliding like six feet on my ass on my way back down in this huge cloud of dust, dragging this poor root along with me. lauren said it was really funny to watch- i quite believe her.
watched part of this awesome movie at matt's last night- can't remember what its called, but its basically just images of a bunch of random stuff, like waves or storms or demolitions, and then this awesome music in the backgroud. me and lauren were pretty much entranced.. oh, also watched this video at this other dudes apartment, for some reason i am obsessed with it..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxZJTRhcFg4 . i just love it.
so yea. eaten breakfast at el tovar a few more times. SO GOOD, oh my gosh. cinnamon rolls from heaven. been craving mexican food for quite a while now-- gotta get to flag soon.
so yea. half way done here, or more! which is crazy. i still want to get to sedona, and hike rim to rim. and camp if possible.
i am pretty used to living here now. i feel like i know a lot of people and have stuff to do and work a lot and all that. its weird to me that i'll be going home. i mean, i still have like a month. but months pass so fast these days it seems like! i am super excited about the house and all, and seeing everyone again, and athens and downtown-- but i am loving this for now. i almost would rather stay here for longer. i am already looking into stuff to do next summer. i would really love to go abroad somewhere. i think there is much traveling in my future. i am seeing that i am not going to be a stationary person for a while, not til im older. i mean, im pretty sure grad school and whatnot is gonna have wait, because after college and i am GOING somewhere, im doing something out of my comfort zone. maybe an environmental peace corps type thing, some type of volunteer environmental thing abroad. ive already looked into working as a volunteer at different animal reserves and stuff in south africa and whatnot. there is so much cool stuff out there to do... and you really CAN do it. theres nothing stopping you, really, except thinking that you shouldn't. i think ive learned that being out here, looking at these peoples lives who are here and all the places theyve been and worked. its just so different from the pattern i see in people at home and what they do with their lives. and honestly, this appeals to me more. they have less money and less stability and i think its awesome. once again, i have this huge temptation to drop out of school. BUT, i wont, ill get my degree. blast. itll be great. i can handle two more years in athens. especially since i know that afterwards there is awesome stuff waiting for me. i cant wait for it!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
"They're just the rules of the game, and the rules are the first to go."
Hello, children.
This is gonna be a short post, BUT! nonetheless it's an important. i have had a fantastic past few days. wonderful, really. i've just been in such a good mood and loving being here and just really content. i love the people that i've met and i love not having school and not doing the same thing over and over, and honestly i like that i am making money for once. i mean i am by no means making a lot, but i am definitely making more than i ever have before. i will actually have enough to buy a camera this fall, and i'm saving a bunch of it for traveling. it's just nice to be able to buy stuff with money that i have worked for--- because YES my parents still fully support me. i have now had that conversation several times with people out here. turns out that is pretty rare at the age of 20...but my parents insist. honestly, they do. all the money of my own i am using out here on food and stuff, they are reimbursing me for. their idea! hm....
anyway. some awesome things have happened recently.
a) tony-- i think that's his name???--this awesome thai kid that works in the BA and likes me for some reason. i can always see him across the kitchen from the AZ room window, and he's on the other side of the counter in the BA kitchen. one time he called to me and started singing "kathryn, kathryn-- over there, over there!!" but it sounded like "Kat-a-lyn, Kat-a-lyn! Ova dea! Ova dea!" across this huge kitchen. i think i have said this before... but it was awesome. and today.. he was calling me because i was sitting in the az window. then he would duck under the counter and peek up every few seconds.. he's hilarious. then he started doing the stair/elevator thing people do when you can't see their feet.. and saying really corny stuff like "see you tomorrow!" and "goin to work!" he is so funny. and his accent makes everything better.
b) got an awesome letter from my sister. she was talking about the donald miller book "through painted deserts" and how he talks about leaving your routine so you can step back and look at it more clearly, and it makes more sense. and all that kinda stuff. it was a great letter. i also got an awesome package from her-- it included fake mustaches. KEY.
c) tarantual. on my bed. yesterday. oh lord. my roommate tells me last night, as i'm laying in bed-- "there was a tarantula on your bed earlier today. it was about as big as my palm. i got it onto the floor and killed it. it was huge and hairy." uhhh WHAT??!?!!?!?!?! i about freaked out. needless to say i couldnt sleep all night. oh, arizona.
d) star party tonight. a bunch of astronomy nerds come to certain places with their expensive amazing telescopes and you can go and look at stuff. it was AWESOME!!! saw saturn (rings and all, and a moon!) a bunch of awesome constellations, the milky way. so cool.
e) breakfast at el tovar this morning with lauren. SO DELICIOUS. real food. REAL GOOD. oh my gosh best omelet thing ever. and the restaurant is so cozy and lodge like. loved it. LOVED IT. and lauren is just awesome. the classic "So I got into my room... and my roommate was cooking a steak in a toaster oven on her bed" quote. her crazy roommate, who opens trashbags and scoops coins off of her bed into a bucket in the middle of the night. and sets rat traps and egg shells on the floor. and the "cream horn-- don't know what it is but i want one!" goooooood times. OH. and her short pants and white socks today... uhhh.. nice.
f) going on a date on friday! this dude i work with. don't know him too well, but he seems pretty cool. its really just a hang out. pizza and beer- YES! and in tusayan, will be so nice to get out of the park for a bit. and not have to pay for it... ahhhhh. lovely.
g) cute cook with the limp from the BA is back. haven't seen him in a while but he's back and cute as ever---in my opinion (which many do not agree with.) one of these days i will talk to him. and another of these days i will stop being in love with everyone. .... ............. maybe.
h) last, and best, thing that has happened recently. got the best compliment today i think i have ever gotten. this busser at the AZ room i work with named Tom--- older guy, quite unique, always talking to you about literature and meditation and all that kinda stuff. today he said to me "one of these days, when i know you better, i am going to ask you where you get your tranquility from." and i was just like whatttt??? and he was like "good parenting? or maybe you just came into the world with natural good sense and independence? you just seem well prepared, and at such a young age. the world doesn't seem like it has shifted your perspective. i wish i had been like that when i was 20." i was just blown away. just the fact that he said i had an essence of tranquility and independence--- that is exactly what i've been thinking about since i've been here! and basically for the last year or so, maybe since college started. i just couldn't believe he said it so bluntly. i was so flattered, i've been thinking about it all day. and he is really into meditation and understanding consciousness and detaching yourself from the things the world tells you you need, and all that. which is all stuff i've thought about a lot, especially since i started reading the upanishads earlier this year. so yea. it was amazing. i'm still blown away that he was so honest about it. it was incredibly encouraging. best thing that has happened since i've been here (except for maybe some of the hikes... god i love hiking.)
so, that is my life in a nutshell at the moment. i am truly loving it here right now. it is amazing. i don't know if it's just the growing ive been doing, or if its being here, or if im talking myself into it or what--- but i feel like i've discovered such a happiness since i've been here. its crazy. ALSO. i have decided that i want to write a book. or maybe a journal. but i feel like i want to attempt to publish it one day. it is going to be called "the reality of god." it is basically the kind of i thing i think about all the time... it is really too confusing and complex to explain here. it is not exactly a justification of god's existence. actually not at all. its more of an exploration into "reality" and how this parallels different religions and and conceptions of God, and what i have found in my own life to be "reality", and thus (for me), to be representative of God. there is so much i want to put into it.. sort of how SOMETHING in this universe is static while everything else is dynamic... and that this is god. and trying to relate this to a relational aspect. like how a driving force can also be a relational force. it's a little confusing... but i feel the need to write it. well see what happens.
HOWEVA! bedtime. goodnight.
This is gonna be a short post, BUT! nonetheless it's an important. i have had a fantastic past few days. wonderful, really. i've just been in such a good mood and loving being here and just really content. i love the people that i've met and i love not having school and not doing the same thing over and over, and honestly i like that i am making money for once. i mean i am by no means making a lot, but i am definitely making more than i ever have before. i will actually have enough to buy a camera this fall, and i'm saving a bunch of it for traveling. it's just nice to be able to buy stuff with money that i have worked for--- because YES my parents still fully support me. i have now had that conversation several times with people out here. turns out that is pretty rare at the age of 20...but my parents insist. honestly, they do. all the money of my own i am using out here on food and stuff, they are reimbursing me for. their idea! hm....
anyway. some awesome things have happened recently.
a) tony-- i think that's his name???--this awesome thai kid that works in the BA and likes me for some reason. i can always see him across the kitchen from the AZ room window, and he's on the other side of the counter in the BA kitchen. one time he called to me and started singing "kathryn, kathryn-- over there, over there!!" but it sounded like "Kat-a-lyn, Kat-a-lyn! Ova dea! Ova dea!" across this huge kitchen. i think i have said this before... but it was awesome. and today.. he was calling me because i was sitting in the az window. then he would duck under the counter and peek up every few seconds.. he's hilarious. then he started doing the stair/elevator thing people do when you can't see their feet.. and saying really corny stuff like "see you tomorrow!" and "goin to work!" he is so funny. and his accent makes everything better.
b) got an awesome letter from my sister. she was talking about the donald miller book "through painted deserts" and how he talks about leaving your routine so you can step back and look at it more clearly, and it makes more sense. and all that kinda stuff. it was a great letter. i also got an awesome package from her-- it included fake mustaches. KEY.
c) tarantual. on my bed. yesterday. oh lord. my roommate tells me last night, as i'm laying in bed-- "there was a tarantula on your bed earlier today. it was about as big as my palm. i got it onto the floor and killed it. it was huge and hairy." uhhh WHAT??!?!!?!?!?! i about freaked out. needless to say i couldnt sleep all night. oh, arizona.
d) star party tonight. a bunch of astronomy nerds come to certain places with their expensive amazing telescopes and you can go and look at stuff. it was AWESOME!!! saw saturn (rings and all, and a moon!) a bunch of awesome constellations, the milky way. so cool.
e) breakfast at el tovar this morning with lauren. SO DELICIOUS. real food. REAL GOOD. oh my gosh best omelet thing ever. and the restaurant is so cozy and lodge like. loved it. LOVED IT. and lauren is just awesome. the classic "So I got into my room... and my roommate was cooking a steak in a toaster oven on her bed" quote. her crazy roommate, who opens trashbags and scoops coins off of her bed into a bucket in the middle of the night. and sets rat traps and egg shells on the floor. and the "cream horn-- don't know what it is but i want one!" goooooood times. OH. and her short pants and white socks today... uhhh.. nice.
f) going on a date on friday! this dude i work with. don't know him too well, but he seems pretty cool. its really just a hang out. pizza and beer- YES! and in tusayan, will be so nice to get out of the park for a bit. and not have to pay for it... ahhhhh. lovely.
g) cute cook with the limp from the BA is back. haven't seen him in a while but he's back and cute as ever---in my opinion (which many do not agree with.) one of these days i will talk to him. and another of these days i will stop being in love with everyone. .... ............. maybe.
h) last, and best, thing that has happened recently. got the best compliment today i think i have ever gotten. this busser at the AZ room i work with named Tom--- older guy, quite unique, always talking to you about literature and meditation and all that kinda stuff. today he said to me "one of these days, when i know you better, i am going to ask you where you get your tranquility from." and i was just like whatttt??? and he was like "good parenting? or maybe you just came into the world with natural good sense and independence? you just seem well prepared, and at such a young age. the world doesn't seem like it has shifted your perspective. i wish i had been like that when i was 20." i was just blown away. just the fact that he said i had an essence of tranquility and independence--- that is exactly what i've been thinking about since i've been here! and basically for the last year or so, maybe since college started. i just couldn't believe he said it so bluntly. i was so flattered, i've been thinking about it all day. and he is really into meditation and understanding consciousness and detaching yourself from the things the world tells you you need, and all that. which is all stuff i've thought about a lot, especially since i started reading the upanishads earlier this year. so yea. it was amazing. i'm still blown away that he was so honest about it. it was incredibly encouraging. best thing that has happened since i've been here (except for maybe some of the hikes... god i love hiking.)
so, that is my life in a nutshell at the moment. i am truly loving it here right now. it is amazing. i don't know if it's just the growing ive been doing, or if its being here, or if im talking myself into it or what--- but i feel like i've discovered such a happiness since i've been here. its crazy. ALSO. i have decided that i want to write a book. or maybe a journal. but i feel like i want to attempt to publish it one day. it is going to be called "the reality of god." it is basically the kind of i thing i think about all the time... it is really too confusing and complex to explain here. it is not exactly a justification of god's existence. actually not at all. its more of an exploration into "reality" and how this parallels different religions and and conceptions of God, and what i have found in my own life to be "reality", and thus (for me), to be representative of God. there is so much i want to put into it.. sort of how SOMETHING in this universe is static while everything else is dynamic... and that this is god. and trying to relate this to a relational aspect. like how a driving force can also be a relational force. it's a little confusing... but i feel the need to write it. well see what happens.
HOWEVA! bedtime. goodnight.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Umbilical Moonrise
Another post. Finally. I feel like it's been awhile. I've been up to a lot of stuff actually-- not gonna write about all of it here, but yea! life in the canyon definitely moves along just like life anywhere else. things change and you meet new people and you get comfortable and you have your little worries and problems and routines and blah blah. the best part about this last week was that i've hit the point where i've seen everything that is "bad" about this place, and i've come to terms with all the things that aren't like i thought they'd be, and i've calmed myself down and (for the most part) gotten rid of my homesickness (i will, after all, be home in less than two months. and it'll be great. but no need to rush it! it's summer!!)... and, after all that- i've realized that i am GLAD i came here, and that i like the things i'm learning here and the type of people i'm meeting, and how i'm seeing that where i live (and college in general) IS in fact a bubble and that wherever you go (maybe not WHEREVER... but places other than where you are), you will meet people you get along with and who have interesting things to say and like to do the things you like to do and are interested in you and all that. and i'm really glad to know that i have the ability to come out to a place i know nothing about on my own and make it! and that i have the independence to WANT to do that... like i said in an earlier post, i'm big on independence. one day, when i actually support myself and really stand on my own two feet, and can choose where i want to go and live---- i really think i'm gonna love that. that is the probably the best part about being here. i've honestly had a bit of a hard time adjusting, it is just so different, so far away from everything and everyone you know.. but it's refreshing! i love it so much, i think deep down it just rejuvenates me and makes me feel alive.
if we're being honest-- one thing i really DON'T like about it here... the creepy older men. i've seriously never been hit on so much in my life. and i'm not bragging or anything- i really have NEVER experienced this type of attention from men. and a lot of them are the kind of men you DON'T want attention from. and it's hard to dissuade them... eh. it's awkward. some of them are just being cute and flirting... but others are just way too forward and excessively obnoxious about it. it really isn't fun. i like hanging out with the cool ones- but the creeps ones are creeeeeps.... blehh. maybe sometimes people just wanna be left alone! just leave me alone, gosh honestly. it'll be a relief to get back to athens, and uga boys who have no idea you're there. that's what i'm used to, and i miss it quite honestly!
anyway. went out to this place called desert view for the sunset a few days ago. there's a watchtower there, but we couldn't go to the top because it closes at 7:30 (umm, thats like 10 minutes before sunset?? umm, dumb.) so that sucked, but it was a new view of the canyon, and you can see the desert land all along the other sign, and a big portion of the colorado river. it was neat. went w/ this guy from work, ended up chattin w/ him most of the night. he's pretty cool, told me about this game he plays in the utah desert-- it involves hiding beer and then going out looking for it. it sounded pretty fun.
worked a bunch last week. i'm actually moving from the az room to the bright angel (BA), which i am not at all happy about. i will have only two nights off a week (i'm used to having 5...) and i have longer shifts, and it's crazier in there and there's not an amazing view of the canyon. lame. ughh... but i will make a good bit more money. ughhh WHO CARES!!! damn it all. i like the az room a lot-- i do not wanna switch at all.
hiked today, for the first time in a while. it was amazing. went to this place called battleship, its down the bright angel trail, then off on this real steep rocky ridge and down some more, and its this huge rock formation. we climbed all the way to the top, it was incredible. literally rock climbing at points, through tiny cracks in the rocks and whatnot. definitely the most intense i've yet done. i had SUCH a good time, gorgeous view from the top, very adventurous and rugged area to get through to get there. had to follow these little rock piles called karens (cairns??), got scratched by many a yucca ( a reallllly sharp cactus thing), all of us ate it by slipping on rocks at some point- so much fun. hiking really never gets old. the hike back up was bit difficult. anthony and i were booking it, just wanted to get it done with. exhausting. im in maswik right now- had a big bowl of penne pasta, a grande burrito and rice, and hot chocolate. a monster meal, really. but soo gooooood!
so yea. basically i am really loving it here still. talked to multiple people who have worked in yellowstone and said that is amazing, so much to do and awesome people. blah blah-- so for a few days i was really bitter that i came here instead of there. but i am over that. i honestly like where i am, and i like that i came here, and i like the people i've met. i just don't know how i can go back to athens for 9 months after. i mean, i LOVE athens like crazy. but being stationary for that long just doesn't appeal to me. i wanna see NEW things. and meet NEW people. i've already been in athens- new things! i am already looking into what i wanna do next summer. i am absolutely gonna travel somewhere new. we'll see where-- but i've fallen in love with it. with being out in the wide world on my own and discovering things completely of my own accord! i can't even describe it, but it's so amazing and i want to keep doing it. i am just excited about all the other things and places i will see in the future!
if we're being honest-- one thing i really DON'T like about it here... the creepy older men. i've seriously never been hit on so much in my life. and i'm not bragging or anything- i really have NEVER experienced this type of attention from men. and a lot of them are the kind of men you DON'T want attention from. and it's hard to dissuade them... eh. it's awkward. some of them are just being cute and flirting... but others are just way too forward and excessively obnoxious about it. it really isn't fun. i like hanging out with the cool ones- but the creeps ones are creeeeeps.... blehh. maybe sometimes people just wanna be left alone! just leave me alone, gosh honestly. it'll be a relief to get back to athens, and uga boys who have no idea you're there. that's what i'm used to, and i miss it quite honestly!
anyway. went out to this place called desert view for the sunset a few days ago. there's a watchtower there, but we couldn't go to the top because it closes at 7:30 (umm, thats like 10 minutes before sunset?? umm, dumb.) so that sucked, but it was a new view of the canyon, and you can see the desert land all along the other sign, and a big portion of the colorado river. it was neat. went w/ this guy from work, ended up chattin w/ him most of the night. he's pretty cool, told me about this game he plays in the utah desert-- it involves hiding beer and then going out looking for it. it sounded pretty fun.
worked a bunch last week. i'm actually moving from the az room to the bright angel (BA), which i am not at all happy about. i will have only two nights off a week (i'm used to having 5...) and i have longer shifts, and it's crazier in there and there's not an amazing view of the canyon. lame. ughh... but i will make a good bit more money. ughhh WHO CARES!!! damn it all. i like the az room a lot-- i do not wanna switch at all.
hiked today, for the first time in a while. it was amazing. went to this place called battleship, its down the bright angel trail, then off on this real steep rocky ridge and down some more, and its this huge rock formation. we climbed all the way to the top, it was incredible. literally rock climbing at points, through tiny cracks in the rocks and whatnot. definitely the most intense i've yet done. i had SUCH a good time, gorgeous view from the top, very adventurous and rugged area to get through to get there. had to follow these little rock piles called karens (cairns??), got scratched by many a yucca ( a reallllly sharp cactus thing), all of us ate it by slipping on rocks at some point- so much fun. hiking really never gets old. the hike back up was bit difficult. anthony and i were booking it, just wanted to get it done with. exhausting. im in maswik right now- had a big bowl of penne pasta, a grande burrito and rice, and hot chocolate. a monster meal, really. but soo gooooood!
so yea. basically i am really loving it here still. talked to multiple people who have worked in yellowstone and said that is amazing, so much to do and awesome people. blah blah-- so for a few days i was really bitter that i came here instead of there. but i am over that. i honestly like where i am, and i like that i came here, and i like the people i've met. i just don't know how i can go back to athens for 9 months after. i mean, i LOVE athens like crazy. but being stationary for that long just doesn't appeal to me. i wanna see NEW things. and meet NEW people. i've already been in athens- new things! i am already looking into what i wanna do next summer. i am absolutely gonna travel somewhere new. we'll see where-- but i've fallen in love with it. with being out in the wide world on my own and discovering things completely of my own accord! i can't even describe it, but it's so amazing and i want to keep doing it. i am just excited about all the other things and places i will see in the future!
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
"Throw it like you would throw an infant...!"
Just a quick update because some awesome things have happened recently that i wanna get down before i forget.
Yesterday- a good day. loved it. for a variety of reasons.
Went to church, went to the grocery store to get chips for the picnic--got packages from mom AND dad!! :)
picnic fun... good food (NOT E-CAF, thank GOD.) met some locals, etc.. played frisbee in the road. SOMEONE threw the frisbee in a tree, it got stuck way up there... and about ten of us spend the next 30 (or more) minutes throwing rocks at it to try and get it down. it was hilarious... people almost getting hit with rocks, almost hitting the catholic church across the street-- it honestly just looked like we were chucking rocks at the catholic church. it was a lot of fun, i can't explain why. prior to this mike was trying to explain to lauren how to throw a frisbee...
"throw it like you would throw a saucer. throw it like you would throw an infant.... that's really flat. and looks like a frisbee!" uhh what!! hilarious. as usual.
then went to tusayan and saw the grand canyon imax. fo free!! for employees of course. i actually really liked it, it was a little corny but still kinda interesting. it made me realllly wanna go rafting though.
next awesome thing--- in my package from my mom....... a tamagotchi. that's right. i used to LOVE these things, and she saw one at the store and thought it'd be funny to send me. i loved it, i cracked up when i saw it. good ol mom. i turned it on today.... haaaaa its so funny. im pretty sure itll die pretty soon (tomorrow)- but i figured i'd turn it on. it brings back childhood quite a bit. ahh, i love my mom.
third (and most) awesome thing.... last night we went for a night hike because it was a full moon, and it was INCREDIBLE.. oh my gosh, in love. maybe the coolest thing i've ever seen. we reached this one point where you could just look out over the canyon, up and down on both sides, and it was soooo gorgeous. the moon was so bright, part of the canyon was in shadow but a lot of it was covered in moonlight. and it was cool and windy out, and quiet except for the wind. it was breathtaking. i could have sat on that one rock all night. honestly--- everyone must see that at some point. WOOOOWWW!!! then waited a long time for a ride back--- but worth it.
today was pretty fun actually, enjoyed work suprisingly. had a delicious black bean burger from the e-caf... just a good day. i think this is gonna be a good week.
i'll put pics up of my plateau point hike soon- promise!!
Yesterday- a good day. loved it. for a variety of reasons.
Went to church, went to the grocery store to get chips for the picnic--got packages from mom AND dad!! :)
picnic fun... good food (NOT E-CAF, thank GOD.) met some locals, etc.. played frisbee in the road. SOMEONE threw the frisbee in a tree, it got stuck way up there... and about ten of us spend the next 30 (or more) minutes throwing rocks at it to try and get it down. it was hilarious... people almost getting hit with rocks, almost hitting the catholic church across the street-- it honestly just looked like we were chucking rocks at the catholic church. it was a lot of fun, i can't explain why. prior to this mike was trying to explain to lauren how to throw a frisbee...
"throw it like you would throw a saucer. throw it like you would throw an infant.... that's really flat. and looks like a frisbee!" uhh what!! hilarious. as usual.
then went to tusayan and saw the grand canyon imax. fo free!! for employees of course. i actually really liked it, it was a little corny but still kinda interesting. it made me realllly wanna go rafting though.
next awesome thing--- in my package from my mom....... a tamagotchi. that's right. i used to LOVE these things, and she saw one at the store and thought it'd be funny to send me. i loved it, i cracked up when i saw it. good ol mom. i turned it on today.... haaaaa its so funny. im pretty sure itll die pretty soon (tomorrow)- but i figured i'd turn it on. it brings back childhood quite a bit. ahh, i love my mom.
third (and most) awesome thing.... last night we went for a night hike because it was a full moon, and it was INCREDIBLE.. oh my gosh, in love. maybe the coolest thing i've ever seen. we reached this one point where you could just look out over the canyon, up and down on both sides, and it was soooo gorgeous. the moon was so bright, part of the canyon was in shadow but a lot of it was covered in moonlight. and it was cool and windy out, and quiet except for the wind. it was breathtaking. i could have sat on that one rock all night. honestly--- everyone must see that at some point. WOOOOWWW!!! then waited a long time for a ride back--- but worth it.
today was pretty fun actually, enjoyed work suprisingly. had a delicious black bean burger from the e-caf... just a good day. i think this is gonna be a good week.
i'll put pics up of my plateau point hike soon- promise!!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Come, see what they all talk about!
I suppose it's time for me to write another entry. got another week in the canyon under my belt. about a week from now, it'll be the longest i've ever been continuously out of the state of georgia!
do i miss her, the ol G-A? difficult to say. the more places ago, the more i realize that no matter what place i'm in, i'm still the same person and i have the same thoughts and the same personality and all that. i feel like it always seems like if you go to a new place you will be this new person with a new life and everything... but it's still you, and your old life is still back where you came from, and you're still in your same mind and no matter where you are your life is still just your life. SORRY to start with this rando philosophy, i've just been thinking about it. how everyone has this deep urge to travel and see new places. and some do, and it is really awesome, and worth doing- but sometimes i feel like people (me) are looking for something and they think in a new place whatever it is they're looking for will just be sitting there and everything will be miraculously easy and make sense all of the sudden. or maybe i'll put it this way- i personally am just naturally restless, i feel like i need to get away from the places and people i know or else i'll die of monotony. so i feel like i have to get far away from "home," but once i get far away, i just for the same general life. not the same life--- but the same me. like, people always look back on themselves a couple years ago and think "wow, i've grown and changed so much." but what has REALLY changed? your opinions? your interests? how you spend your free time? the people you see on a daily basis? i guess all those things would lead to a different life-- but something is still the same, i can't explain what. and i think that this thing is what people are ACTUALLY longing to have change... but does it? can it?
ANYWAY. just some ponderings i've been having. meanwhile.... canyon life is fun! had a couple rough days this week where i just didn't feel well, and simultaneously was crazy home-sick (about the time caitlin put up the pics of the 1-1-7's pumpkin finally rotting. sad). i've also been missing my cats, my dog, and picka-face wigglez, jr. (my hamster.) work is -- ehh.. finally getting used to it, bussing tables in the arizona room is actually not so bad. my shifts are really short and i dont get many hours (thus my paycheck was depressingly smaller than all my friends paychecks...), but the rim is literally right outside the window of the az room, and im getting used to people there, and i can sneak delicious cornbread. went to a few of the rim church services that are right on the rim at sunset.. they are really cool actually, i enjoy them a lot. lots of going to maswik and eating food (mac and cheese) that i really dont need, late at night (sounds a little bit like my snellebrating days.. yikesss 12 pounds!!). nate, eli, matthew, and brady got a cabin over by maswik and weve gone to hang out at their place a few times, always fun. sour patch kids are always involved, as is making fun of kriph (kriff, kryph, kriphtopher). many a conversation about why "yall" is improper, how mike thinks me and meredith say it out of context-- though im pretty sure we understand better than him when it can be used.
getting really sick of the e-caf (employee cafeteria).. its real cheap, but just not good food! we did try to get anthony to get huge, congealed mass of refried beans into his mouth at one time (the "refried bean", the size of a tennis/baseball)... but he failed. too bad, he was real close.
couple nights ago lauren and i went to the mezzanine in el tovar and got hot chocolate and just sat and talked, it was really awesome. apparently there's some hotty porters working over there, so we've gotta scope it out.
went over to the kennels a few days ago, you can walk the strays they have there, just to get them outta the kennel for a bit. got one named poppy, he was a sweet little pie. im gonna go again sometime soon, its just WAY the hell back in the woods, and kinda sketchy to get there.... but i will do anything for animals, this is a given.
been eating WAYYY too many sweets, dont know what my deal is, i dont usually crave them. but theres been a lot of ice cream eating and even some soda drinking--- way out of character for me! WHAAA!! also lots of cereal, apples, mac and cheese, salad, and pasta--- wow i cant wait to be able to cook for myself again. i just want an english muffin with a friend egg, cream cheese, and tomato. ahh, like we used to have before class, those were the days!
took the shuttle to tusayan today- a tiny little tourist town right before entering grand canyon national park. ate at this yippy-i-o restaurant. not too impressive, too expensive.. bad idea. next time, it's We Cook Pizza all the way! and next time i get to flagstaff- bunhuggers!
had an interesting night in the woods last weekend- dont really wanna talk about it too much. to sum it up-- i thought i lost my ipod for a few days before finding it wrapped up in my sheets at the foot of my bed. and i ran around the parking lot after an elk. so, take what you will from that.
ANDDDD there you have it. i do miss home a bit- i miss the twt, i miss the apartment, and miss my room, my BED, my christmas lights, bedside chatting, walking to class, sitting at walkers, whitehall, running at the IM fields, grocery shopping!, falling asleep on the couch til one of my girlfriendz comes home... all those sorts of things. BUT! gcnp is an interesting place- lots of interesting people. lots of people from other countries, interesting to talk to. pretty different lifestyle here-- but like i said earlier, same old me!
i already know i'll miss it here like crazy when i leave. and i dont wanna rush through my summer! its already only two months or a little less til i come home! cray cray.
final note--- i am loving my independence out here. YES, my parents are paying for my health insurance and gave me 200 bucks in cash before i came and all that CRAPPER... but i'm on my own out here! haven't known any of these people more than three weeks (it feels like i have....). and i'm in a different part of the country. for an extended period of time. i honestly feel like this is the kinda thing i'm made for. and what i'm going to end up doing. going out on my own, really on my own-- and just moving around to new places. and doing something that involves working with animals.. that's it! i dunno if it's just because i'm young.. but i love having no strings, no responsibilities to anyone but myself. i mean my friends and stuff-- but not responsibility, just attachment. but not the kind where you have to base any part of your life on theirs. it must sound so selfish, and i think it is and i plan to grow out of it and eventually learn to sacrifice myself for another person/people (a family, in case you didnt get that...) but for now--- NO!!! no sacrifices! i'm not in the mood! there's too much to do.
so there. i said it. i like being independent, and i like to be isolated, almost. not from people, but from.... i dont know what. i like discovery!!
which im sure you can have with other people--- but nevermind. i could talk about this forever. and im tired. and wanna go to sleep.
ill write again soon, ne'er fear!
do i miss her, the ol G-A? difficult to say. the more places ago, the more i realize that no matter what place i'm in, i'm still the same person and i have the same thoughts and the same personality and all that. i feel like it always seems like if you go to a new place you will be this new person with a new life and everything... but it's still you, and your old life is still back where you came from, and you're still in your same mind and no matter where you are your life is still just your life. SORRY to start with this rando philosophy, i've just been thinking about it. how everyone has this deep urge to travel and see new places. and some do, and it is really awesome, and worth doing- but sometimes i feel like people (me) are looking for something and they think in a new place whatever it is they're looking for will just be sitting there and everything will be miraculously easy and make sense all of the sudden. or maybe i'll put it this way- i personally am just naturally restless, i feel like i need to get away from the places and people i know or else i'll die of monotony. so i feel like i have to get far away from "home," but once i get far away, i just for the same general life. not the same life--- but the same me. like, people always look back on themselves a couple years ago and think "wow, i've grown and changed so much." but what has REALLY changed? your opinions? your interests? how you spend your free time? the people you see on a daily basis? i guess all those things would lead to a different life-- but something is still the same, i can't explain what. and i think that this thing is what people are ACTUALLY longing to have change... but does it? can it?
ANYWAY. just some ponderings i've been having. meanwhile.... canyon life is fun! had a couple rough days this week where i just didn't feel well, and simultaneously was crazy home-sick (about the time caitlin put up the pics of the 1-1-7's pumpkin finally rotting. sad). i've also been missing my cats, my dog, and picka-face wigglez, jr. (my hamster.) work is -- ehh.. finally getting used to it, bussing tables in the arizona room is actually not so bad. my shifts are really short and i dont get many hours (thus my paycheck was depressingly smaller than all my friends paychecks...), but the rim is literally right outside the window of the az room, and im getting used to people there, and i can sneak delicious cornbread. went to a few of the rim church services that are right on the rim at sunset.. they are really cool actually, i enjoy them a lot. lots of going to maswik and eating food (mac and cheese) that i really dont need, late at night (sounds a little bit like my snellebrating days.. yikesss 12 pounds!!). nate, eli, matthew, and brady got a cabin over by maswik and weve gone to hang out at their place a few times, always fun. sour patch kids are always involved, as is making fun of kriph (kriff, kryph, kriphtopher). many a conversation about why "yall" is improper, how mike thinks me and meredith say it out of context-- though im pretty sure we understand better than him when it can be used.
getting really sick of the e-caf (employee cafeteria).. its real cheap, but just not good food! we did try to get anthony to get huge, congealed mass of refried beans into his mouth at one time (the "refried bean", the size of a tennis/baseball)... but he failed. too bad, he was real close.
couple nights ago lauren and i went to the mezzanine in el tovar and got hot chocolate and just sat and talked, it was really awesome. apparently there's some hotty porters working over there, so we've gotta scope it out.
went over to the kennels a few days ago, you can walk the strays they have there, just to get them outta the kennel for a bit. got one named poppy, he was a sweet little pie. im gonna go again sometime soon, its just WAY the hell back in the woods, and kinda sketchy to get there.... but i will do anything for animals, this is a given.
been eating WAYYY too many sweets, dont know what my deal is, i dont usually crave them. but theres been a lot of ice cream eating and even some soda drinking--- way out of character for me! WHAAA!! also lots of cereal, apples, mac and cheese, salad, and pasta--- wow i cant wait to be able to cook for myself again. i just want an english muffin with a friend egg, cream cheese, and tomato. ahh, like we used to have before class, those were the days!
took the shuttle to tusayan today- a tiny little tourist town right before entering grand canyon national park. ate at this yippy-i-o restaurant. not too impressive, too expensive.. bad idea. next time, it's We Cook Pizza all the way! and next time i get to flagstaff- bunhuggers!
had an interesting night in the woods last weekend- dont really wanna talk about it too much. to sum it up-- i thought i lost my ipod for a few days before finding it wrapped up in my sheets at the foot of my bed. and i ran around the parking lot after an elk. so, take what you will from that.
ANDDDD there you have it. i do miss home a bit- i miss the twt, i miss the apartment, and miss my room, my BED, my christmas lights, bedside chatting, walking to class, sitting at walkers, whitehall, running at the IM fields, grocery shopping!, falling asleep on the couch til one of my girlfriendz comes home... all those sorts of things. BUT! gcnp is an interesting place- lots of interesting people. lots of people from other countries, interesting to talk to. pretty different lifestyle here-- but like i said earlier, same old me!
i already know i'll miss it here like crazy when i leave. and i dont wanna rush through my summer! its already only two months or a little less til i come home! cray cray.
final note--- i am loving my independence out here. YES, my parents are paying for my health insurance and gave me 200 bucks in cash before i came and all that CRAPPER... but i'm on my own out here! haven't known any of these people more than three weeks (it feels like i have....). and i'm in a different part of the country. for an extended period of time. i honestly feel like this is the kinda thing i'm made for. and what i'm going to end up doing. going out on my own, really on my own-- and just moving around to new places. and doing something that involves working with animals.. that's it! i dunno if it's just because i'm young.. but i love having no strings, no responsibilities to anyone but myself. i mean my friends and stuff-- but not responsibility, just attachment. but not the kind where you have to base any part of your life on theirs. it must sound so selfish, and i think it is and i plan to grow out of it and eventually learn to sacrifice myself for another person/people (a family, in case you didnt get that...) but for now--- NO!!! no sacrifices! i'm not in the mood! there's too much to do.
so there. i said it. i like being independent, and i like to be isolated, almost. not from people, but from.... i dont know what. i like discovery!!
which im sure you can have with other people--- but nevermind. i could talk about this forever. and im tired. and wanna go to sleep.
ill write again soon, ne'er fear!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
