"They're just the rules of the game, and the rules are the first to go."

Hello, children.
This is gonna be a short post, BUT! nonetheless it's an important. i have had a fantastic past few days. wonderful, really. i've just been in such a good mood and loving being here and just really content. i love the people that i've met and i love not having school and not doing the same thing over and over, and honestly i like that i am making money for once. i mean i am by no means making a lot, but i am definitely making more than i ever have before. i will actually have enough to buy a camera this fall, and i'm saving a bunch of it for traveling. it's just nice to be able to buy stuff with money that i have worked for--- because YES my parents still fully support me. i have now had that conversation several times with people out here. turns out that is pretty rare at the age of 20...but my parents insist. honestly, they do. all the money of my own i am using out here on food and stuff, they are reimbursing me for. their idea! hm....
anyway. some awesome things have happened recently.
a) tony-- i think that's his name???--this awesome thai kid that works in the BA and likes me for some reason. i can always see him across the kitchen from the AZ room window, and he's on the other side of the counter in the BA kitchen. one time he called to me and started singing "kathryn, kathryn-- over there, over there!!" but it sounded like "Kat-a-lyn, Kat-a-lyn! Ova dea! Ova dea!" across this huge kitchen. i think i have said this before... but it was awesome. and today.. he was calling me because i was sitting in the az window. then he would duck under the counter and peek up every few seconds.. he's hilarious. then he started doing the stair/elevator thing people do when you can't see their feet.. and saying really corny stuff like "see you tomorrow!" and "goin to work!" he is so funny. and his accent makes everything better.
b) got an awesome letter from my sister. she was talking about the donald miller book "through painted deserts" and how he talks about leaving your routine so you can step back and look at it more clearly, and it makes more sense. and all that kinda stuff. it was a great letter. i also got an awesome package from her-- it included fake mustaches. KEY.
c) tarantual. on my bed. yesterday. oh lord. my roommate tells me last night, as i'm laying in bed-- "there was a tarantula on your bed earlier today. it was about as big as my palm. i got it onto the floor and killed it. it was huge and hairy." uhhh WHAT??!?!!?!?!?! i about freaked out. needless to say i couldnt sleep all night. oh, arizona.
d) star party tonight. a bunch of astronomy nerds come to certain places with their expensive amazing telescopes and you can go and look at stuff. it was AWESOME!!! saw saturn (rings and all, and a moon!) a bunch of awesome constellations, the milky way. so cool.
e) breakfast at el tovar this morning with lauren. SO DELICIOUS. real food. REAL GOOD. oh my gosh best omelet thing ever. and the restaurant is so cozy and lodge like. loved it. LOVED IT. and lauren is just awesome. the classic "So I got into my room... and my roommate was cooking a steak in a toaster oven on her bed" quote. her crazy roommate, who opens trashbags and scoops coins off of her bed into a bucket in the middle of the night. and sets rat traps and egg shells on the floor. and the "cream horn-- don't know what it is but i want one!" goooooood times. OH. and her short pants and white socks today... uhhh.. nice.
f) going on a date on friday! this dude i work with. don't know him too well, but he seems pretty cool. its really just a hang out. pizza and beer- YES! and in tusayan, will be so nice to get out of the park for a bit. and not have to pay for it... ahhhhh. lovely.
g) cute cook with the limp from the BA is back. haven't seen him in a while but he's back and cute as ever---in my opinion (which many do not agree with.) one of these days i will talk to him. and another of these days i will stop being in love with everyone. .... ............. maybe.
h) last, and best, thing that has happened recently. got the best compliment today i think i have ever gotten. this busser at the AZ room i work with named Tom--- older guy, quite unique, always talking to you about literature and meditation and all that kinda stuff. today he said to me "one of these days, when i know you better, i am going to ask you where you get your tranquility from." and i was just like whatttt??? and he was like "good parenting? or maybe you just came into the world with natural good sense and independence? you just seem well prepared, and at such a young age. the world doesn't seem like it has shifted your perspective. i wish i had been like that when i was 20." i was just blown away. just the fact that he said i had an essence of tranquility and independence--- that is exactly what i've been thinking about since i've been here! and basically for the last year or so, maybe since college started. i just couldn't believe he said it so bluntly. i was so flattered, i've been thinking about it all day. and he is really into meditation and understanding consciousness and detaching yourself from the things the world tells you you need, and all that. which is all stuff i've thought about a lot, especially since i started reading the upanishads earlier this year. so yea. it was amazing. i'm still blown away that he was so honest about it. it was incredibly encouraging. best thing that has happened since i've been here (except for maybe some of the hikes... god i love hiking.)

so, that is my life in a nutshell at the moment. i am truly loving it here right now. it is amazing. i don't know if it's just the growing ive been doing, or if its being here, or if im talking myself into it or what--- but i feel like i've discovered such a happiness since i've been here. its crazy. ALSO. i have decided that i want to write a book. or maybe a journal. but i feel like i want to attempt to publish it one day. it is going to be called "the reality of god." it is basically the kind of i thing i think about all the time... it is really too confusing and complex to explain here. it is not exactly a justification of god's existence. actually not at all. its more of an exploration into "reality" and how this parallels different religions and and conceptions of God, and what i have found in my own life to be "reality", and thus (for me), to be representative of God. there is so much i want to put into it.. sort of how SOMETHING in this universe is static while everything else is dynamic... and that this is god. and trying to relate this to a relational aspect. like how a driving force can also be a relational force. it's a little confusing... but i feel the need to write it. well see what happens.

HOWEVA! bedtime. goodnight.