Jumping off bridges

I haven't jumped off a bridge in a long time. (ever?) so the title is a little irrelevant, maybe kinda metaphorical but not really, its more of a mental connection i have with the idea of jumping off bridges to how i am feeling at this particular "stage in my life" if you will.
oh, in case you were wondering (btw no one reads this, i am addressing myself), the other blog didn't really pan out.  i like this one better anyway. i think people just start new things out of boredom, and then get bored with the new thing and go back to the old thing out of sentimentality.
anyways- here i sit, at the end of my college days and the beginning of everything else (though I have a real and unsettling suspicion that the world is teetering dangerously and humans with it... im not sure how much longer were all gonna make it.) but anyways--the end of an era has arrived. sadly, but in due course. i think its time. things have run their course here. but i could literally not be more satisfied with my college years. athens was.. (is)... perfect! i know it so well, love it so much, have the best memories and most intimate connections and have experienced so much growth and joy and peace (among other more negative but equally beneficial emotions) right here in the wonderful amazing town of athens. so lucky to have gotten to be a college kid here. and-though im uncertain about my career path-am THOROUGHLY convinced that warnell and the natural resource major is the absolute best decision for a degree. you get so close to other students as well as teachers (really you do), spend so much time outdoors in awesome settings, hours studying and doing labs together, learning a huuuuge variety of stuff. taking awesome field trips to coastal islands and beaches and mountains, having wildlife suppers and tws meetings with live animals, lots of pizza, lots of time together, and the most important knowledge anyone can have in opinion--how to understand and care for the natural environment and its creatures. i love animals and nature more than ever, more than anything really. warnell has been the best experience ever. senior exit dinner the other night, all the seniors discussed the pros and cons of their experiences. and everyone really is like family. and we are all passionate about nature, and nerdy wildlife techniques and id'ing scat and bird calls and scientific names of trees. its very unifying.
anyways. enough of that. whats next you ask? i wish i could tell you. i...do NOT know! i suppose i will mention (for my own future benefit i guess, because as i said no one reads this) that "teeny tiny daniel" and myself are no longer a couple. as of about two weeks ago. it is very strange. sad, probably a good thing, hard to get used to, disappointing, unfinished, a part of life, anything you can think of really. it is hard to look back at my old entries and remember the blossoming of our relationship that summer in the grand canyon. and think of all weve been through since then, how close we became, all the memories and happiness (hurt, too, naturally) and be sitting here typing this now and it be over. and all the plans and ideas i had for our future be impossible now. and it also leaves me with no plans for the fall (i was planning on going to flagstaff).
Ahem--anyways, the main reason I am writing this post is because i find myself on the cusp of an adventure, a reallll adventure that i am not sure where or when or how or what will become of it. i have this weird  feeling that i will never reach it, that somehow everything is ending now and that i will not actually ever be in a new place with a new life and new ideas. maybe its because school is ending, people are leaving, my relationship ended, and i dont know whats coming. i HOPE at least, and not that i have end-of-world foresight. this summer i will be in athens, working with a grad student on fresh-water mussell research (at least i think thats still on...), and then.... UNKNOWN! alone. was hoping id venture to a new land and have a little you know who by my side... but i guess the essence of life is that it is a mystery.
alas, to bed. gotta do a take-home final tomorrow (really? still...??) and work on my thesis (..... guujhhhhh). these are the days!!!!

"Love will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free."
(song of the day- Sigh No More, Mumford & Sons)