Come, see what they all talk about!

I suppose it's time for me to write another entry. got another week in the canyon under my belt. about a week from now, it'll be the longest i've ever been continuously out of the state of georgia!
do i miss her, the ol G-A? difficult to say. the more places ago, the more i realize that no matter what place i'm in, i'm still the same person and i have the same thoughts and the same personality and all that. i feel like it always seems like if you go to a new place you will be this new person with a new life and everything... but it's still you, and your old life is still back where you came from, and you're still in your same mind and no matter where you are your life is still just your life. SORRY to start with this rando philosophy, i've just been thinking about it. how everyone has this deep urge to travel and see new places. and some do, and it is really awesome, and worth doing- but sometimes i feel like people (me) are looking for something and they think in a new place whatever it is they're looking for will just be sitting there and everything will be miraculously easy and make sense all of the sudden. or maybe i'll put it this way- i personally am just naturally restless, i feel like i need to get away from the places and people i know or else i'll die of monotony. so i feel like i have to get far away from "home," but once i get far away, i just for the same general life. not the same life--- but the same me. like, people always look back on themselves a couple years ago and think "wow, i've grown and changed so much." but what has REALLY changed? your opinions? your interests? how you spend your free time? the people you see on a daily basis? i guess all those things would lead to a different life-- but something is still the same, i can't explain what. and i think that this thing is what people are ACTUALLY longing to have change... but does it? can it?

ANYWAY. just some ponderings i've been having. meanwhile.... canyon life is fun! had a couple rough days this week where i just didn't feel well, and simultaneously was crazy home-sick (about the time caitlin put up the pics of the 1-1-7's pumpkin finally rotting. sad). i've also been missing my cats, my dog, and picka-face wigglez, jr. (my hamster.) work is -- ehh.. finally getting used to it, bussing tables in the arizona room is actually not so bad. my shifts are really short and i dont get many hours (thus my paycheck was depressingly smaller than all my friends paychecks...), but the rim is literally right outside the window of the az room, and im getting used to people there, and i can sneak delicious cornbread. went to a few of the rim church services that are right on the rim at sunset.. they are really cool actually, i enjoy them a lot. lots of going to maswik and eating food (mac and cheese) that i really dont need, late at night (sounds a little bit like my snellebrating days.. yikesss 12 pounds!!). nate, eli, matthew, and brady got a cabin over by maswik and weve gone to hang out at their place a few times, always fun. sour patch kids are always involved, as is making fun of kriph (kriff, kryph, kriphtopher). many a conversation about why "yall" is improper, how mike thinks me and meredith say it out of context-- though im pretty sure we understand better than him when it can be used.
getting really sick of the e-caf (employee cafeteria).. its real cheap, but just not good food! we did try to get anthony to get huge, congealed mass of refried beans into his mouth at one time (the "refried bean", the size of a tennis/baseball)... but he failed. too bad, he was real close.
couple nights ago lauren and i went to the mezzanine in el tovar and got hot chocolate and just sat and talked, it was really awesome. apparently there's some hotty porters working over there, so we've gotta scope it out.
went over to the kennels a few days ago, you can walk the strays they have there, just to get them outta the kennel for a bit. got one named poppy, he was a sweet little pie. im gonna go again sometime soon, its just WAY the hell back in the woods, and kinda sketchy to get there.... but i will do anything for animals, this is a given.
been eating WAYYY too many sweets, dont know what my deal is, i dont usually crave them. but theres been a lot of ice cream eating and even some soda drinking--- way out of character for me! WHAAA!! also lots of cereal, apples, mac and cheese, salad, and pasta--- wow i cant wait to be able to cook for myself again. i just want an english muffin with a friend egg, cream cheese, and tomato. ahh, like we used to have before class, those were the days!
took the shuttle to tusayan today- a tiny little tourist town right before entering grand canyon national park. ate at this yippy-i-o restaurant. not too impressive, too expensive.. bad idea. next time, it's We Cook Pizza all the way! and next time i get to flagstaff- bunhuggers!
had an interesting night in the woods last weekend- dont really wanna talk about it too much. to sum it up-- i thought i lost my ipod for a few days before finding it wrapped up in my sheets at the foot of my bed. and i ran around the parking lot after an elk. so, take what you will from that.

ANDDDD there you have it. i do miss home a bit- i miss the twt, i miss the apartment, and miss my room, my BED, my christmas lights, bedside chatting, walking to class, sitting at walkers, whitehall, running at the IM fields, grocery shopping!, falling asleep on the couch til one of my girlfriendz comes home... all those sorts of things. BUT! gcnp is an interesting place- lots of interesting people. lots of people from other countries, interesting to talk to. pretty different lifestyle here-- but like i said earlier, same old me!
i already know i'll miss it here like crazy when i leave. and i dont wanna rush through my summer! its already only two months or a little less til i come home! cray cray.

final note--- i am loving my independence out here. YES, my parents are paying for my health insurance and gave me 200 bucks in cash before i came and all that CRAPPER... but i'm on my own out here! haven't known any of these people more than three weeks (it feels like i have....). and i'm in a different part of the country. for an extended period of time. i honestly feel like this is the kinda thing i'm made for. and what i'm going to end up doing. going out on my own, really on my own-- and just moving around to new places. and doing something that involves working with animals.. that's it! i dunno if it's just because i'm young.. but i love having no strings, no responsibilities to anyone but myself. i mean my friends and stuff-- but not responsibility, just attachment. but not the kind where you have to base any part of your life on theirs. it must sound so selfish, and i think it is and i plan to grow out of it and eventually learn to sacrifice myself for another person/people (a family, in case you didnt get that...) but for now--- NO!!! no sacrifices! i'm not in the mood! there's too much to do.
so there. i said it. i like being independent, and i like to be isolated, almost. not from people, but from.... i dont know what. i like discovery!!
which im sure you can have with other people--- but nevermind. i could talk about this forever. and im tired. and wanna go to sleep.

ill write again soon, ne'er fear!